Posts by Scott
Like Flies
0Several times over the last few months, I’ve started to write a post mourning the loss of someone I admired or was at least sad to see go. Every time I started, another one walked the plank – Patrick McGoohan, John Mortimer, Tony Hart, John Martyn, Lux Interior – so I’ve been scared to do it in case it’s my latent psychic powers bumping them off.
Clearly, mentioning it here is a risk, if my theory is true, so if Morrissey starts to look a bit peaky, think up an alibi for me.
Sunday Night Telly Talk
2“oooo, nice”
“Fiona Bruce?? Really?”
“Well, not much but I wouldn’t kick her out of bed for eating crisps”
“Not even Cheese and Onion”
“hmmm, tough one.”
Keep Off The Grass
0“Look, it’s for your own good!”
“maow”
“I’m really not trying to poison you”
“MAOW!”
Negotiations with elegant black cat were not going well.
After a rush Saturday night trip to an emergency vet followed by a tense Sunday waiting for her to be looked at by a second vet, turns out all the dozy mouser had wrong with her was grass stuck in her throat.
Cats are deceptively fragile machines. As previously discussed, Rumpole fell foul of a piece of string. Holly tried to better her with a piece of grass. Doubtless, Rumpole will attempt to regain her title of most-pathetic-moggy by injuring herself on a fluffy towel.
Anyway, Holly had no trouble taking the antibiotics cunningly crushed into her food and even liked the anti-furball stuff I was to paste onto her paws for her to lick off.
At First.
By day two, applying the paste required the use of oven gloves and a vice, and resulted in a “dirty protest” style smearing of brown gunk all over the kitchen.
I’m sure there’s a reason why i haven’t turned them into slippers. I’m SURE there is.
New Image?
5Assuming the large Hadron collider hasn’t disintegrated the universe (check here) making it a moot point, I’ve been considering a change of image. Specifically, a haircut.
Having had the same dopey ponytail since I was 17, and seeing how impressed Fiona was with my return to a minimalist goatee beard, I’ve been wondering if it’s time for the Morrissey pompadour*, or the Stray Cats Quiff or something else entirely. Looking at this site it seems that even having buggger all hair isn’t a massive disadvantage. A bonus for someone of my advancing years.
Trouble is, a week after going to the goatee, I’m already looking at my face in a mirror and seeing Mr Potato-head looking back at me and wondering if I’ve done the right thing. And a beard only takes weeks to grow back.
It’s tough being a fashion victim.
*for the befuddled, a Pompadour is the big stick-y up flat top type affair sported by Moz, James Dean and all the hep cats in 1955. Not to be confused with a Pompier, which is a French fireman who has no business on the top of my head. Punchline left as an exercise for the reader.
Quick Catch Up
1I’ve had about 6 different posts started and not got anywhere with any of them, so instead of putting it off, here’s a quick round up:-
-Back in employment again. No names, no pack drill but it’s in a shiny blue office in Salford and it’s all very “GO TEAM! WOO HOO” which, surprisingly, I’m quite enjoying, not least due to the regular free lunches and the free trip to a 5-star hotel.
-Bought a Bass Guitar which is quite possibly the best thing in the world which doesn’t have breasts. Following my guitar naming convention was tricky as I was running out of famous gorgeous Aussie women so it’s currently “sarafrombigbrother” which may or may not stick.
-Went to Cambridge Folk Festival and wanted to be Richard Hawley or Billy Bragg or both. Jane Asher’s Evil Twin has photos.
-Lots of trips to London for new-job training. Blinky Blonky Bloimey. Had hideous train journey where I was stuck outside Stoke for three hours because someone chained himself to the gantry over the rails. The obvious solution of 1000 fed up commuters throwing stones was disallowed and we had to wait for the police. They didn’t even WANT to throw stones so I’m not sure why we bothered to wait.
-Went Camping in Northumberland with Fiona. Got very wet, and very cold. Moved on.
– Started moving the house round. Well, not the house so much as the stuff in it but for all the upheaval, I might as well be.
Other than that, not a lot.
So, now that’s out of the way, normal rubbish will be resumed shortly