But the “toast at a medium setting” instruction actually meant “put on lowest possible setting and don’t walk away or you’ll have a kitchen full of black, black smoke.”

The cats were sniffing the new electronic cat feeder a bit warily too. And that was while they could still see it without the use of infra-red equipment. New toy is intended to feed cats on a timer while I’m away for a weekend (Brighton in a fortnight, Scotland the week after … Michael Palin’s got nowt on me) but I fully expect the feline hackers to have it upended, rewired and emptied by the time I get home.